Wearable sex toys: Technology takes a step ahead in erotica

While sex toys have been available since long, it’s only recently that many of these erotic toys have been advancing with a faster pace. With older sex toys being passive, newer ones are more advanced and have electronics built into each of them. These are now wirelessly connected and operated using smartphones and the internet to help individuals and couples experience a better sex life. Take for example the electronic lingerie made by Durex, which allows your partner to fondle you over the internet using a smarpthone. These types of sex toys are targeted towards couples that stay away from each other and work in different cities. To bring back the spark in their sex lives, many companies are taking advantage of technology.

This time is it a different type of erotic wearables. A new line of sex toys are here that allows you to explore the future of sexual arousal. The wearable sex toys are from Wisp, which focuses more on the pleasures of stimulation and less on the physical aspect. Wisp devices are meant to be worn and placed on sensitive zones for sexual arousal and stimulation. These devices incorporate miniature motors and vibrators which simulate a gentle touch or air-blowing on the skin to mimic a lover’s touch or breath. Using this technology, men and women can take advantage of these wearables to intensify their sexual experiences.

The project was completed in 6 months. Each wearable incorporates motors and soft, furry material and can be adjusted to different intensities. Multiple tiny motors work together to create sensations similar to sexual stimulation of the skin.

Wisp presently has two products—Whisper and Air. While Whisper is a flexible pad that mimics a lovers breath, it also has a few heating elements for additional sensations. Air is a necklace that uses various elements, including perfumer, audio simulation and an air-blowing mechanism.

How sex toys really helped me navigate my sexuality after coming out

I realized I was queer when I was in college.

I’d always had extremely close female friendships, but it took me a while to admit that the “girl crushes” I’d had weren’t girl crushes at all — they were legitimate, romantic, sexual crushes.

Figuring out your sexuality is one thing. Figuring out your sex life when you aren’t straight is just as hard, if not harder. In the U.S., we’re considered lucky if we have sex education classes that go beyond abstinence, but LGBT-specific sex education is basically non-existent. According to Guttmacher Institute, only 13 states require discussion of sexual orientation in sex ed, with nine being inclusive discussion of sexual orientation and four requiring that it be negative information.

Long story short? You have to really seek out accurate portrayals of not just healthy sexuality, but healthy queer sexuality, on your own. Learning how to have queer sex isn’t something that just lands in your lap.

 

As a result, my coming out was also a lesson in broadening my understanding of my sexuality as a whole. I had to ask myself new questions. For years as a straight girl, I’d assumed I’d do the PIV-sex thing and be done with it. But now, as a queer girl, I had to ask myself what I wanted my sex life to look like. What did I want it to entail?

At first, I tried out the usual suspects, reading about how girls had sex and looking up sex tips and advice online, but much of it catered to straight people, especially straight men. I wasn’t seeing much that centered on my own pleasure or that offered up actual advice. I mean, try looking up “lesbian sex.” I will pretty much guarantee that you’re going to land on porn.

I decided to kick other people’s thoughts and ideas about my sex life aside and make my own decisions. It was up to me to navigate my own sexuality. Sex toys ended up playing a major part in that.

According to the Autostraddle Sex Survey, over 50 percent of queer women use strap-ons, dildos and vibrators when they have sex. Because we’re breaking the norms of sex from the get-go, it sort of feels like you may as well just go for it and figure out how to have the best sex ever. Still, though, I was nervous.

 

As a queer woman still learning how sex between women was “supposed to” work, I felt a little hesitant and nervous about sex with other women to begin with. Adding sex toys felt risky, like it would make me gain or lose “queer points” if I chose a toy that made me seem like a straight girl.

There’s a lot of judgment surrounding bi women to begin with, so I was always worrying about having other women shame me for my decisions and decide I was just a straight girl experimenting instead of a real, live bi girl. With people assuming lesbians are “less gay” because they like strap-ons, or questioning how “real lesbians” have sex (as opposed to all those “fake ones” that seem to exist…?), there’s very real pressure to have queer sex the right way, even though you’re never told what that right way is.

So it felt revolutionary the first time I sat down with a regular hookup and said, “Have you ever tried out sex toys?” She looked at me for a moment before smiling and saying that she had a few times, and then we were able to get to know each other on a new level. We were opening up and being vulnerable and having a conversation that more people need to have — an open, honest and judgment-free conversation about how we wanted to have sex.

When you’re shopping for, talking about and even using sex toys, you’re entering into a space where rules — the suffocating ones that make us question ourselves before we express a need to our partners — don’t apply. Consent becomes real, instead of theoretical. Pleasure becomes real instead of theoretical. You have to spell it out and say, “This is what I like,” and “This is what I don’t like.” And I think that, queer or not, we’re all bound to have better sex when we’re not holding back, not in the sex shop — and not in bed.

 

By Rachel Charlene Lewis

So-so sex lives leave Brits calling for more intense pleasure

New research has outed Britain as a sexually unsatisfied nation – with a mere third describing their sex life as ‘good’, and just 15 per cent saying their bedroom action is ‘great’.

The study, commissioned by Durex, reveals that almost two thirds of people would like to have special sex more often – but half of us are too embarrassed, tired or simply clueless when it comes to suggesting new things in the sack.

We spoke to Alix Fox, sex and relationship expert, about how Brits might combat these issues and have a satisfied sex life again.

Why do so many Brits only see their sex life as ‘good’ and not ‘great’?

“A recent survey showed that only a teeny weeny 1% of people in the UK reckon they’re having ‘epic’ sex,” Fox reveals. “Of course, their responses may have been coloured by classic British modesty – Brits aren’t known as a nation of braggers, so maybe some respondents were simply trying to avoid showing off about the awesome adventures they get up to between the sheets – but sadly, I suspect there’s some depressing repression at play here.”

“British culture is moving towards talking more openly about sex, and it’s becoming much more acceptable to express fantasies and fetishes to your partner or suggest trying toys, techniques or titillating role plays. But- a huge number of Brits still find it hard to tell their lovers that something isn’t working for them in bed, or they get too nervous about making new suggestions,” she reflects. “In fact, that same survey showed that 50% of people hardly ever feel they can pipe up about wanting to switch things up sexually, whether that’s due to embarrassment, not knowing how to broach the subject, or being clueless about exactly what to propose. As a result, they clam up and put up with having the same old stagnant sex that’s merely middling, rather than mind-blowing.”

What may cause couples to abandon sex altogether?

“There are so many reasons why couples’ bumping ‘n’ grinding can grind to a halt. Stressful jobs can leave folks feeling too frazzled for lovemaking; medications like anti-depressants and (ironically) hormonal contraception can suppress sex drive; issues with body image or erectile dysfunction as people age can knock carnal confidence. After years and years as a pair, lovers can gradually get lazy or overfamiliar with each other,” the sexpert says. “15% of Brits have admitted that their sex lives are completely non-existent.”

“The good news is that there are a huge number of possible solutions to all these issues,” Fox states. “And they all begin with communication…”

Why if a couple has been together for a long time are they embarrassed about introducing new things into the bedroom?
“When couples have been in love for so long that it seems they must have paid for their first date using shillings, they can develop very deep-set habits together,” says Fox. “Suggesting something that breaks those habits or shakes up a well-worn routine can feel like a really big, daunting thing to do. People can worry that their partner will be shocked if they suggest introducing something fresh to sex, or even suspicious or hurt – they fear a reaction like ‘You mean to say I’ve not been satisfying you all this time? Have you been faking orgasms and happiness for decades?’, or ‘Why do you want to change things now? What’s got into you?’. Statistics show that in most cases, though, long-term partners really welcome their lovers making moves to spice things up, and they’ve often been searching for a way to propose the same things themselves.”

What is ‘special sex’ and why do couples want it more?
“The precise specifics of what makes sex ‘special’ will be different for different people, but generally I think this means ‘memorable for positive reasons’ – whether that’s because you made a dedicated effort to explore something new (whether that’s a vibrator, a stimulating gel, a position, a scenario…), or because you really concentrated on each other’s sensations and emotions during lovemaking,” Fox muses.

“Sex that is not special equals: sex that’s forgettable, so predictable it’s boring; sex where you’re not mentally ‘in the moment’, because you’re fretting, distracted, too knackered, or not concentrating on you and your partner’s feelings; or sex that leaves one or both of you feeling unsatisfied or disappointed,” she continues.

“I think it’s obvious why people crave more of the former! Special sex can leave you feeling elated; un-special sex can make you feel deflated.”

Why can pleasure rings be a good place to start?

“If you’re looking for an easy way to amp up your intimate antics, a simple cock ring like the newly launched Durex Pleasure Ring is a fantastic way to introduce something extra to your sexual repertoire,” Fox advises. “It’s a squidgy, stretchy, comfy-to-wear clear silicone band that fits over the base of his penis – nothing scary or complicated. Use a little water-based lubricant to help it slip on and feel comfy. It will help him stay harder for longer, without chemicals or pills, giving his ego a boost and giving you both more time to make love; and it also has the added bonus of making intercourse feel more intense for him. At around a fiver, it’s a very affordable toy that has a whole host of benefits. If you wanna ring the changes, grab a ring!”

Why is communication so important when it comes to livening up your sex life?
“Unless you’re dating Derren Brown, your lover isn’t a mind reader,” Fox answers, “and I bet even Derren would have trouble guessing that you fancied testing out a G-spot vibrator or trying a thinner condom or wanted him to move his finger in circles rather than up and down. There’s only so much a partner can tell from body language and vague hints. Unless you and your amore are communicating properly, you’re simply not going to know what each other’s thoughts and desires and preferences and wonderings are. They may be very different to when you first started dating. Communication needs to be something couples do constantly, as they evolve over time as individuals and as a pair. As well as being useful for improving sex, good communication can be a turn-on in itself. Think about how hot it is to hear someone whisper in your ear exactly how they want you to touch them; listen to them read out a scorching scene from their favourite erotic novel; or read a naughty text from them while you’re at work, spelling out what they want to do when you get home.”

Why is it better to start simple with sex toys?

“The technology that goes into sex toys these days is outstandingly advanced,” Fox says. “There are saucy gadgets that do everything from heat up to communicate with mobile phones to administer tiny electric shocks for those who are turned on by pain! But if you jump straight into the deep end and buy something too complex, advanced or specialist, it can be overwhelming, or intimidating, or give off far too intense a sensation for a beginner to handle.”

“The best way to learn what suits you and your partner in terms of toys like is to start simple,” she counsels. “Choose a toy that’s small, straightforward, and friendly-looking, so your lover is less likely to freak out when you bring it out! Experiment to see what you both enjoy – the types of vibration and movement you like, the parts of your body you like to be stimulated – then build on from there.”

Why shouldn’t couples simply settle when it comes to their sex life? If they are having sex – is that not enough?
“To me, saying ‘Well, we’re having OK-ish, kinda-meh, mediocre sex, but I guess it’ll do – at least we’re having sex at all’ can be compared to saying ‘I could have this unforgettably delicious multiple-course Michelin-starred meal, but I’ll settle for a boring bowl of plain pasta – at least we’re eating!'” reasons Fox. “It seems such a shame, such a wasted opportunity, when couples don’t feel sufficiently inspired or motivated to make their intimate moments emotionally deeper and physically more satisfying,” she laments. “Good sex has the capacity to bring so much positivity to your relationship and your life in general. It can help relieve stress; make couples feel more connected and happy together; it can teach you so much about your own psychology; and it genuinely has the capacity to be one of the most exquisitely pleasurable and moving activities it’s possible to experience as a human being. Plus, it’s free! Having your best sex can take some effort, though, much like learning to cook properly rather than merely making toast. If your bedroom activity consists of just lazily sticking something in a slot, then you’re missing out on making the kind of love that could truly nourish you.”

 

By Lucy Moore

 

The Future of Sex: Sensors, Cognitive Computing and Robotics

Sensors, cognitive computing and robots — how will the technological innovations taking place rapidly all around us also change one of the most intimate human behaviors?

Sex bots have been a science fiction staple since the genre began. But could realistic robotic sex dolls ever be a real thing?

They already are, and it’s not just robots that are infiltrating this market; several kinds of new technology are changing the landscape, and perhaps even our behaviors.

Smart sex toys

Berkley-based Lioness is producing a sex toy for women that not only provide a pleasurable experience, but also allow the woman to learn more about her sexuality and physical body.

The product has five built-in sensors that connect to a smartphone app and measure user’s individual muscle responses, body temperatures, and other physical factors to make suggestions about the best way to use the device based on individual and aggregate (private!) data. It lets users discover patterns in both their sex drive and experiences which can be correlated to conditions like time of day, mood, menstrual cycles, and stress levels.

 The startup, which is almost entirely women run, is focused on problem-solving design features for a product designed by women, for women. But it raises the possibility that these sorts of technologies could go beyond pleasure and be useful in diagnosing problems, treating conditions, and doing health research using the anonymized data.

Virtual reality

With the release of the Oculus Rift virtual reality headset, the inevitable has also accompanied it: virtual reality pornography. David Moye of the Huffington Post tried out Naughty America’s first virtual reality porn offerings and wrote about them, and other companies are hot on their tails.

As the technology becomes more prevalent, it seems only likely that the availability of VR porn will increase as well. Estimates place the current internet pornography industry at around $14 billion annually, and enhanced experiences are likely to enhance that bottom line.

Companies like Tenga are already pairing virtual reality movies with touch-sensitive masturbation devices.

Lifelike robots

Matt McMullen, creator of RealDoll, believes he knows where the future of sex toys is going, and is developing a robot called Realbotix. According toThe New York Times, Realbotix will include convincing AI, including a robotic head that can blink and open and close its mouth, a virtual assistant and companion mobile app (like Her?) and a virtual reality headset that can be used separately or in tandem with the physical doll.  The goal is for the doll to be able to have realistic (and likely naughty) conversations with users.

The Realbotix is expected to cost $10,000 for the head, and $30,000–$60,000 for the accompanying body — and McMullen expects to have no shortage of customers willing to pay.

However, the idea of customizable, lifelike sex toys does raise some interesting problems.  Just recently, a Hong Kong designer showed off his incredibly realistic robot named Mark 1, that looks remarkably like actress Scarlett Johansson. Ricky Ma constructed the robot at home with a 3D printer and software he taught himself to use.

The ScarJo bot isn’t very smart (and does not, to anyone’s knowledge, have anything to do with sex) having only a handful of canned responses to choose from, but she raises some ethical and legal questions.  In theory, anyone could construct a robot replica of anyone else — from celebrities to ex girlfriends. Current law seems to support the idea that the “original” person could sue over robots created in their likeness and sold for profit, but what about those, like Mr. Ma’s, made at home?
There are some who claim that the advent of sex bots could even have positive social consequences. Researchers from New Zealand posit that robot sex workers will be in wide commercial use by 2050, potentially reducing the spread of disease and the trafficking of real people.

And it is, perhaps, worth mentioning that a 2014 poll reported that 1 in 5 people in the U.K. said they would have sex with a robot.

 

By Bernard Marr

Plumber’s ‘shocking’ discovery: Where sex toys go to die

A Johannesburg plumber has discovered where sex toys go to die – sewer systems.

The tradesman made the discovery when he was called in to unblock a toilet for new tenants to a Johannesburg property.

He discovered the previous tenants had flushed their sex toys down the toilet.

Sex toys are one of the most common things left behind by tenants,” said Michelle Dickens of TPN credit bureau that vets potential tenants’ financial records. “Obviously, some people want to share their pleasure.”

Dickens asked 1000 estate agents attending various seminars what “odd” things had been left behind by people who moved out of rental properties.

“Sadly, the most common ‘possessions’ left behind were pets.”

Lawyers told of having to serve an eviction order on a woman who had officially changed her name to Dominatrix. Her throne was attached by the sheriff of the court.

“Sometimes spouses get left behind,” said Dickens. She said the partner whose name is on the lease moves out after a fight. The other partner stays behind and then refuses to pay rent, claiming they are not legally liable to pay. These are jokingly referred to as squatting spouses.

“There was also a woman who forgot her dead husband behind in an urn,” said Dickens.

She phoned the estate agent very soon after moving out and the urn was returned to her.

One tenant damaged the entire pool filter system. The neighbour revealed that the woman had washed her giant St Bernard dog in the pool every day and then blow-dried his hair. The hair clogged the filter.

Tracy Pugin, an estate agent in Randburg, said: “Tenants leave behind whatever they decide is of no use to them anymore.”

 

By Katharine Child

China’s Sex Toy Tycoon Sees More Open Attitudes Towards Sex, Thanks To The Internet

When Wu Zhenwang opened a sex toy store in 1994 in Wenzhou, southeast China, the locals there got to see what vibrators and inflatable dolls looked like for the first time. It was more conservative back then, when people in China first had sex at an average age of 22.4, five years older than in the United States.

“Over the past twenty years, Chinese consumers have had more open attitudes towards sex,” said Wu Wei, the son of Wu Zhenwang. “The number of people who use sex toys has increased dramatically, with an annual growth rate of 60 percent.”

Lover’s first sex toy shop, which was established in 1994, in Wenzhou, Zhejiang province. The name of the store means “Adam and Eve” in Chinese.

 Wu Wei is the president of Lover Health Science and Technology Co., Ltd, a leading sex product company in China, which manufactures sex toys, condoms, costumes and lubrication. Lover was ranked “among the world’s top 10 makers of erotica” in 2002, according to Reuters. The Economist described the company as “monopolistic” and several Chinese media dubbed him the “sex toy tycoon”.

As an industry insider, Wu has witnessed how the internet has contributed to the positive change.

Nowadays, around 15 percent of all Lover’s products are sold to the domestic market. In 2005, when the company didn’t have any online stores, the figure was less than 10 percent.

 The internet not only helps with sales, but also provides an open platform for customers to express their private feelings.

“This is my first time to use a vibrator. I had orgasm several times. This feels better than my ex-boyfriend!” A female customer commented on Lover’s flagship online store on Tmall, a business-to-consumer online marketplace run by Alibaba . In China, it is still taboo to express one’s sexual feelings so straightforward in real life.

One vibrator manufactured by Lover.

Wu said that every time people learned about his job, they would exclaim “wow, what a mysterious industry!” The 46-year-old man is from Wenzhou, Zhejiang province, which is regarded as the cradle of private businesses in socialist China. Wu and his father are typical Wenzhou businessmen – bold, adaptive and willing to do whatever is profitable.

 

By Coco Feng

What Men Really Think When You Bring a Sex Toy Into Bed

Our sex life is a million times better than it was several years ago before we started using the toys.”

A lot of women enjoy sex more with a little help from a sex toy for clitoral stimulation, but there can be a cultural stigma against it, as if your partner shouldn’t need a sex toy to get you off. In this week’s Sex Talk Realness, Cosmopolitan.com spoke with three men about what it’s like to do something that culturally can be seen as emasculating for some weird reason.

How old are you?

Man A: Thirty-two.

Man B: Twenty-five.

 Man C: Twenty-six.

How long have you and your girlfriend been together?

Man A: Fourteen months.

Man B: Six years.

Man C: Three months.

How often do you have sex?

Man A: Three to four times a week.

Man B: About five times a week.

Man C: It depends on our work schedules, but the average is four to six times a week.

What percentage of that time do you use sex toys in bed?

Man A: Fifty percent of the time. It’s really situation-dependent in terms of whether or not there’s time to grab them and clean up afterward and also where we’re having sex because we might not have them with us.

Man B: Thirty to 40 percent of the time. Sometimes we run out of batteries or we’re really into it already, and we skip toys and get straight to business.

Man C: Since we began using them, 100 percent of the time.

Is this the first relationship where you’ve used sex toys in bed?

Man A: No, I’ve used sex toys in past relationships. In the past, it was more anal sex toy-focused, but vibrators have popped up every so often as well. I’d also purchased a vibrating cock ring at one point but felt like it didn’t add enough to the experience to make it worthwhile.

Man B: Yes, neither of us has ever used sex toys with anyone in the past.

Man C: Yes.

Who was the first person to bring up using toys together?

Man A: I brought it up. She told me she’d never had an orgasm from intercourse, so about six months into the relationship, I suggested getting a vibrator we could use during sex. She was excited by the prospect and I think she was impressed that I was open enough to bring up the conversation first.

Man B: One day we were looking at AdamAndEve.com just seeing what was out there and as a joke, we decided to order four mini bullet vibrators, batteries, and some throat spray because my girlfriend can’t deep throat, and have them delivered in person via a messenger app. The delivery guy came to deliver them, and we thought it was hilarious because he had no idea what he was delivering to us. It still to this day is an inside joke between me and my girlfriend, but we loved it.

Man C: She brought it up after we’d been dating for about three weeks. The first few times we had sex, she was unable to come, and then one afternoon, we were in bed and she just asked about bringing sex toys in. We’re both open-minded, so it wasn’t weird. I was definitely open to it because I like her and want her to enjoy sex as much as I do.

What was the first sex toy you started with?

Man A: A vibrator.

Man B: A mini bullet vibrator.

Man C: It was like a silver-looking ball that had a wire connected to a remote.  Then she bought a sort of phallic-shaped purple vibrator, which is what we still use.

What are your favorite toys to use together now?

Man A: We use a vibrator, anal beads, and a few butt plugs. I’d say my favorite is the anal beads because she really enjoys having sex with anal beads in and I enjoy it as well.

Man B: We have one of those big vibrators with seven different settings. She loves it and I like it when the vibrator is on my balls. It feels amazing.

Man C: The purple vibrator for sure.

What are your least favorite toys to use together?

Man A: If I’m being selfish, the least favorite toy for me is the vibrator because the anal beads and plugs give me a much better experience during penetration, so they win for me personally.

Man B: Cock rings can really suffocate my dick. It was fun the first time we used one, but after that we just preferred to take the little vibrator out and use that.

Man C: None. We are pretty content with the purple vibrator.

Do you two ever fight about the sex toys?

Man A: Nah. She’s more on the submissive side, so she trusts me.

Man B: Yes, I feel like sometimes she likes the vibrator better than me. We got into a fight this morning about it actually because we had sex, and afterward, she told me it was only a 3 out of 10. I feel like now she likes doing it with toys so much, and without them, it isn’t as fun for her, but she says that’s not true and that we have great sex without them. Overall though our sex life is a million times better than it was several years ago before we started using the toys.

Man C: Never. It makes sex better for her, so that makes it better for me. It’d be unhealthy and fucked-up if one person in the relationship was enjoying sex and climaxing significantly more than the other.

Do you feel like either of you needs the sex toys for sex to be good?

Man A: For me, no, but for her, yes, which honestly is pretty sad. I think it’s a solid reason why the relationship won’t work out because I’m not sure if I can spend the rest of my life with someone who I can’t get off without sex toys. My sexual partner number is in the mid-high double digits, and while I’m nowhere near perfect, I’ve had enough good relationships to know that when the chemistry is there. Getting a woman off has never been an issue before. Still, she says she’s happy with our situation, but I don’t think I’ll be able to move past her needing to use a vibrator and to know the only way I can get her off is either by going down on her or using a vibrator. I’ve never talked to her about this, but I know she’d had trouble orgasming in the past, and her past is more vanilla than mine.

Man B: I actually brought this up today because I feel like she likes it more when the vibrator is involved, which I take offense to because, as a dude, we are insecure about our skills in the bedroom. I also don’t feel like she’s as vocal when we don’t use toys. I guess I mind a little but at the end of the day, I’m really happy with our sex life.

Man C: I think she needs them to orgasm. She usually uses the purple vibrator to rub her clit. One time we couldn’t find [the vibrator], and she was able to orgasm rubbing it with her fingers, but she said it wasn’t as good.

Do you ever wish you didn’t use sex toys in bed?

Man A: Selfishly, no. She feels really good when she’s trying to take the anal beads and me.

Man B: Sometimes. I think using sex toys can turn into one of those things where you always want to try something new or get freakier. Vanilla sex just doesn’t do it for us anymore.

Man C: No.

When you have sex without sex toys, what’s the biggest difference?

Man A: I get off, but she doesn’t.

Man B: It takes a lot longer for her to get off without the clitoral stimulation. If I use my hands while we are doing it, though, I would say it’s close to the same.

Man C: We only have sex with sex toys unless she can’t find it, or we are at my house, and she didn’t bring one. The only real difference is that she can’t come as easily.

What do you wish you’d known earlier about using sex toys in bed?

Man A: I wish I’d thought to bring it up sooner with my past relationships. Nowadays, the prevalence of porn has made it a lot easier to learn about what’s out there and if I’d brought it up to exes, it surely would have spiced up some past relationships, especially a long-distance one.

Man B: That they aren’t as scary as people think. My girlfriend took my virginity, so I was always reluctant to try new things, but once we were able to both be comfortable, it allowed us to embrace new things in the bedroom.

Man C: I think I was pretty well-informed and open, but nobody I had had sex with in the past ever suggested using them.

What do you think are the biggest misconceptions about couples who use sex toys in bed?

Man A: From my vantage point, I’m not sure there are any more misconceptions out there, but as you can tell I’m somewhat open about this stuff.

Man B: That they are freaks. A lot of people use them. I even found a butt plug in my parents’ room.

Man C: I don’t really know. Maybe when some people hear “sex toys,” they automatically assume it’s BDSM, and since BDSM is stigmatized for some people, they might be wary of using them.

What advice would you give to other men whose partners want to use sex toys in bed?

Man A: Use them but don’t rely on them to replace sexual chemistry.

Man B: Give it a shot, you will probably like it. Seeing her turned on gets me going.

Man C: I think straight males may think they should be able to “make” their girlfriend or partner come with just their penis, and that falling short of that is on them. In reality, some women just need a little help getting there regardless of who they are having sex with.

By Lane Moore

Why Are Male Sex Toys So Creepy?

A new generation of personal pleasure gadgets has arrived for guys…and we’re not sure whether we should be rock‑hard with excitement or totally cringing. John Ortved reports on the hands-free revolution.

I’m a man of simple tastes. I take my coffee black. I wear shirts from J.Crew. And when I masturbate, I don’t usually use a vibrating plastic sex mollusk. Yet here I am, inside a lubed chamber formed by the matte black silicone tentacles of the Hot Octopuss Pulse II Solo, a private shame club with a single member—mine. I begin the familiar rhythm and I realize: This ain’t so bad. Time passes. Soon enough the vibrations coax out what remains of my pride.

The $99 Pulse II Solo is one of a new generation of masturbatory aids hoping to dominate a market once owned by the Fleshlight. Sure, they’re charging you for one of life’s free pleasures—if you don’t count the cost of toilet paper. (Oh, you use Kleenex? Didn’t realize I was talking to the King of England.) But they’re also offering an upgraded experience. So why can’t we shake the feeling that jerk-off gadgets belong only in the dark, deviant corners of the Internet?

But back to me masturbating. After my time with the Pulse II was all done, I paused a moment, then threw it into the garbage. There was no hesitation before I chucked the $159 Autoblow 2+. It welcomes your dong into a rubbery sleeve molded to mimic your choice of orifices (“30% Tighter!”), then “fellates,”as three bead-laced motorized rings resembling unchaste rosaries massage your manhood. It’s also heavy and loud, with all the sensuality of a wheat thresher. The Autoblow 2+ could only be appreciated by a man who has never had a real blow job, or a real hug, and is as disappointing as the puddle of lube it leaves in your lap.

Tenga’s $86 Flip Hole is less overtly sexual in appearance, like a chubby lightsaber handle—and it might actually sit on a shelf unnoticed, no one knowing that the hinged tube waits to clap onto you with an elastomer embrace. It’s how I imagine a Fleshlight would feel if it went to college (a state school, but a good one, like UCLA). But like all the other surrogate vaginas, the Tenga suffers the same downfall: The novelty turns into predictability, and the by-product is a deep, sticky sadness. I like a little kink, yet I can’t help but feel that getting “kinky” by oneself evokes a different word: pathetic.
The idea of a woman pleasuring herself conjures notions of sensuality, discovery, and tenderness. There’s elegance to it. Now picture some guy jacking off. (Sorry.) Slovenly and craven, right? That’s what these jerk-bots are up against. Walk into a sex-toy shop and you’ll see rows of Wonka-colored female sex toys proudly displayed. The disembodied holes meant for men are tucked away, because investing too much care (and money) in replicating the female form is creepy. It says you have way too much, well, something on your hands. Listen, new levels of satisfaction don’t come in a canister. Those are locked away in your imagination, where you hide the fantasies your parents, your priest, and public decency have forced you to repress. If you still want to fuck a whirring bucket of matzo-ball soup, go for it. But these toys do not deliver the space-wank they promise. They’re just goofy and unnecessary—like hoverboards for your dick.

Besides, unlike women, for whom a toy can be incredibly helpful in achieving orgasm, guys are fine without accessories. Take Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000-hour rule and add a zero: That’s how good we are at this. We are all, every one of us, the Michael Jordan of jerking off.

 

By John Ortved

Is It Safe To Masturbate While Pregnant? A Baby Bump Shouldn’t Stop You From Getting Off

Your first pregnancy can be an exciting time. You’re preparing to bring a new life into the world and are on a journey to becoming a parent for the first time. While there’s a lot to be excited about, pregnancy can also be a time fraught with anxiety and worry. It’s hard to know what’s safe and what isn’t when you’re carrying a baby, especially with so many pregnancy myths in the world. And because masturbation is such a taboo subject, people may be afraid to ask if it’s safe to masturbate while pregnant .

There’s this weird idea that being a pregnant person is completely removed from being a sexual person — that pregnancy and sexuality cannot co-exist and, if they do, that it’s somehow wrong or dirty. So let’s just clear that up right now: You are allowed to be both a parent and a sexual being. You are allowed to orgasm while carrying a baby. You are allowed to seek pleasure while pregnant, whether that’s with a partner or by yourself. It is not weird or gross — it’s natural.

It is totally normal to want sex when you’re pregnant. And since pregnancy results in hormonal changes that bring about a mega libido boosters, you might find that you want sex more now that you’re pregnant. As your progesterone and estrogen levels rise, so might your libido. And, as long as your doctor says that you have a low-risk pregnancy that is progressing normally, masturbating during pregnancy is totally safe.

Why Would I Want To Masturbate During Pregnancy

When you’re pregnant, you might actually find that pleasuring yourself serves multiple purposes. There’s the obvious purpose of orgasmic release, but there’s another, more personal and intimate purpose that masturbation can serve. During pregnancy, your body goes through many changes that can feel incredibly jarring. When I was pregnant, my body changed so rapidly that most days I didn’t recognize it as my own. While I was excited about the life growing inside me, I sometimes felt very disconnected from my physical self.

Masturbation was a great way for me to explore my new body, learn my new body, and connect with my new body. It allowed me to touch myself in soft, gentle, and exploratory ways without pressure or expectation from a partner there to distract me. I could take my time and do what felt right for me. I could experiment with hard touch and light touch. I could stroke this place or that place. And in doing that, I was able to feel present in my new body.

Masturbation also served another purpose for me during my pregnancy. I had an incredibly rough pregnancy. I was sick a lot and carried a lot of pain in virtually every part of my body. More often that not, being in my body was a miserable experience for me when I was pregnant. Masturbation provided an escape from that pain, and allowed me to find actual pleasure in my body. It was really important for me to find a way to feel good in my pregnant body because I spent so much time feeling bad in it.

How Can I Masturbate While Pregnant?

Masturbating during pregnancy isn’t all that different from masturbating when you’re not pregnant. Although if you usually lie on your stomach to pleasure yourself, that position will no longer work for you.

Another option that might seem appealing during pregnancy is to masturbate in the bath. Many people find that the water is good for sore, achy body parts, according to Fit Pregnancy. When I was pregnant, being submerged in water was the only time I didn’t feel giant and bloated. If you have a removable shower head, the water pressure can feel good on all your body parts — vulva and clitoris included. Just make sure that the water temperature isn’tr too hot and that you keep your bathing time under 15 minutes, as BabyCenter notes that extremely hot temperatures can cause problems for you and your baby.

Using sex toys to assist with masturbation is also a fun option, and BabyCenter notes that it’s safe to use vibrators during pregnancy if you’re cleared to be able to have sex and orgasms by your doctor. A long-handled vibrator used clitorally may help with reach. Sex toy blogger and expert,Ephiphora, recommends the Lelo Mona 2 for this purpose. For an inexpensive option, try the Blueberry buzz, which has many speed options and, since it’s made of hard plastic, it conducts vibrations strongly. It’s important to be gentle if you decide to use an insertable toy, as toys that are too long or too hard can cause discomfort during pregnancy. Epiphora recommends something made from dual density silicone, like the O2 line from Tantus or vixSkin from vixen Creations.

Shanna Katz, board certified sexologist, reminds us that it’s important to use a 100 percent silicone or hard plastic toy, as toys that contain phthalates can cause irritation or others problems and haven’t been studied for their impact on pregnant bodies Just be sure to use a water-based lubricant if you use a silicone toy, as the additional silicone causes a chemical reaction thsat will ruin your toy.

Whatever route you choose, don’t be afraid to enjoy yourself — and your body — while you’re pregnant!

 

By Britni De La Cretaz

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WICKED VOX: Why sex toys can’t be Halal

There is a new Sharia-compliant halal sex shop in the UK, focusing particularly on Muslim women.

The shop, according to news website Broadly, intends to differentiate itself in the market by being more discreet while catering to its female customers, who the shop owner claims are often intimidated by a sex shop’s overt “pornographic focus.”

Yet, the image of a sexually adventurous hijab-wearing Muslim woman hunting for a sex toy, as portrayed by writer Salma Haidrani, makes for a curious juxtaposition at a time when the religion itself is under attack in much of Europe for allegedly inciting sexism, misogyny and violence among its adherents.

Does this mean Islam in Britain is distinct from its counterparts in India and other parts of the world,

Including the version practised by the now much-disparaged people of Arab and North African origin?
Or is this yet another attempt by the Western media to exotify Muslims as a community that doesn’t integrate with the rest of society?
There were reports of a similar halal sex shop opening in Mecca last year. Though it never opened, the story made headlines around the world, because the idea of a Muslim sex shop – and that too in Mecca – runs contrary to what many people today equate Islam with: prudery and repression, making the news sensational.
But Islam, unlike Christianity, is not an anti-sex religion. (Sex shops, incidentally, are not uncommon in the Muslim world.) There is nothing un-Islamic about sexuality for Muslims, though scholarship is divided on how liberal the faith is when it comes to the act.

While there are scholars who quote the Prophet Mohammed extolling the pleasures of sex, there are others who staunchly deny this, saying that the Quran is completely neutral on the subject.

The reason for this discrepancy is that understanding Islam is a more complex task than Christianity, with which it not only shares common religious and cultural history, but also grievances. (Remember the jihadist’s reference to crusades after the Paris attacks.)

Islam ought to be viewed at three different, yet inter-linked levels, suggests Palestinian author Edward Said in Covering Islam.

First comes the Quran itself.

Second is the huge corpus of Quranic commentaries (tafsir), the various biographies of the Prophet (sira), and the collection of reports that claim to quote Prophet Mohammed verbatim (hadith).

The third is the practical level at which the ideologies have been lived and followed in various parts of the world.

This makes any reductionist generalisations of Islam pointless, as the way in which it is lived and practised often vary, depending on the cultural context. This phenomenon is also applicable to “modern” Christianity in the Indian context, albeit to a lesser extent – more on that later.

Scholars like A. Faizur Rahman, secretary-general, Islamic Forum for the Promotion of Moderate Thought, dismisses hadiths that quote Prophet Mohammed on sex, saying that the Quran neither extols nor condemns sex, let alone mentioning anything about sex toys.

“The Quran doesn’t say anything on autoerotic toys or sexual stimulation except that it strictly prohibits sex outside marriage,” says Rahman.

Similarly, it is also unfair to blame Islam alone for inciting misogyny, sexism and violence in the world, any more than Christianity, though many Christians today remain blissfully ignorant about their own faith’s dark and gory past.

The 300-year long witch-hunt by Orthodox Christians, which led to sexual mutilation, torture and killings of hundreds of women in Europe, in the name of devil worship, till the 18th century is regarded by historians as “the deepest shame” of the Western civilisation.

The fear of female sexuality during this period saw Christian preachers denouncing women for the “lascivious and carnal provocation of their” garments.

If Christianity appears mild and rational today, it is not because the faith has suddenly turned tolerant, but due to generations of free thinkers who from the Renaissance to the present day, have made Christians ashamed of their traditional beliefs, as put by the British philosopher Bertrand Russell.

A residue of Christian misogyny can still be traced in the attitudes of several Syrian Christians in Kerala, a community that boasts of a religious history as old, if not older than that of Continental Europe, but berates women for showing too much fringe, going out in the company of unrelated male and invoke morality to keep them in line, even to this day.

Just as there were Christians who fought the tyranny and brutality of orthodox beliefs throughout history, a vast majority of Muslims also reject the ISIS brand of Islam.

The point is that sexual assaults, like terrorism, in a modern secular society, should be regarded as a crime independent of religion and dealt with the strictest of punishments.

Coming back to the halal sex shop, Rahman for one is convinced that the shop is nothing more than a clever marketing ploy to reach out to an untapped Muslim audience.

“There is no scriptural basis to claim Sharia compliance for sex toys or call them halal,” he says.

By Sangeeth Sebastian